Current Feelings on Project Panning

WHY I WANT TO QUIT PANNING

At the moment I'm feeling really uninspired with project panning. I feel really restricted in my projects and I'm just not enjoying myself anymore. I feel like project panning isn't doing anything for me, it's putting up more of a barrier in fact. I'm still buying makeup, but I'm not using any of the new makeup I buy because I'm focusing on my projects. I have a blush palette I am yet to touch that I bought back in February, I have at least three eyeshadow palettes that are unused and haven't even been swatched, and products I got for Christmas and my birthday that I was so excited about I just haven't touched. I feel like project panning is making me do the opposite of what I wanted to achieve from it, I started panning so I could get some use out of more of my collection and stop neglecting products, but now all I do is neglect the majority of my collection because there is something I want to finish or something I want to hit pan on.

I'm thinking about stopping my projects, I might continue for this month and stop at the start of June, but we'll see how I feel then. I want to quit my year long project, roulette pan, and my one month one palette series because they're the projects that are making me feel restricted. 

In terms of my year long project, I'm sick of using the same bronzer and highlighter every time I do my makeup because I have pretty large collections of both categories that are being completely neglected, and I love the products I have in my collection so it really upsets me to not be able to use them as much as I want to. Sometimes for special occasions I'll use different products to those that are in my project pan, but I'm getting to a point where I'll come up with any excuse just for some variety. Focusing on my Becca Vanilla Quartz mini is making me resent it, and it's a beautiful highlighter, I just want to use something else. During the Black Friday sales I bought the Jeffree Star Skin Frosts in Neffree and Princess Cut which I've been wanting for years, and I've only swatched them because I've been focusing on my project pan highlighters! I'm also just frustrated with some of the products in this project, I can't measure any reliable progress on my NYX Pore Filler primer because it keeps getting air bubbles in the tube, I hate the Colourpop concealer, my powder has so much pan on it that it's difficult to use now so I don't like reaching for it, and the nail polish is getting thick and too difficult to use - plus I'm sick of the colour. I'm not reaching for the lip products in this project because I'm more focused on my project lip products, and although that will be over soon, and I could realistically start focusing on the lip products I'm panning, I just don't have the motivation. I just want to enjoy my collection, and use things up more organically. I feel like project panning has made me think differently about the way I consume makeup and it almost makes me feel guilty about owning what I own, which I don't appreciate because I really love my collection and feel like I've curated it to reflect my taste and style. When I'm panning I use things because I feel like I have to, not because I want to, and that takes all the fun out of makeup because now I don't have any choice or freedom in what I wear. While it is nice to not have to think about what to use sometimes because I have my project products right there to use, I don't get to experiment with my collection and it's taking away my creativity with my makeup. I feel guilty when I use an eyeshadow palette I'm not panning over the one I am, and that just doesn't make any sense. Panning also makes me over-use products in a way, I might apply more concealer than I need, or really layer up my highlighter or bronzer just to get through it, which is just wasteful. Like I already said, I also find that I'll only use things because I have to, and I notice this most with my lip products. If I go out for lunch I'll pick whatever lip product I want to wear, maybe something from my project lip products, maybe not, and after lunch I either won't reapply at all, or I'll put on a lip product I'm panning. Or, if I did reapply the lip product I picked I'll wait until the end of the day and put the lip product I'm panning on just before I take my makeup off. I don't want to use products just for the sake of using them, and that's what I feel like I'm doing at the moment. 

I've mentioned a few times in my one month one palette posts that I feel uninspired, and the more I think about it I don't think it's the palettes' fault, it's the fact that I'm restricting myself to use solely that product. I have a substantial eyeshadow collection that has a bunch of variety, but when I do my makeup I tend to use 2-3 palettes because I like to mix and match, using just one palette and forcing myself to create looks from a set and often restrictive colour scheme is really crushing my creativity. While I've come up with some really interesting and different looks using my one month one palette focus palettes, I've been neglecting the new palettes in my collection that I'm really excited about, and I haven't truly been appreciating my collection. Most of what I create for these posts I don't actually wear either, I usually just do one eye, take a photo of it, and remove the makeup, just because I know I have that post to fill. I would love to be sitting down and creating whatever I want using whatever palettes I want whenever I feel like it, but I feel like there's this obligation to use what I told myself I would. I'm not opposed to just doing a look for instagram, especially when it's something more creative, but I feel like I haven't been feeling as inspired to create these sorts of looks because I'm forcing myself to use certain products. At the moment I'm focusing on my Colourpop single shadows, which are shadows I love, but every time I open the palette I don't know what to do, whereas if I bring in a second palette I start to pair different things together and I feel like my looks are more successful. I just haven't been motivated to use these shadows at all, and I think that's a sign that I should stop. I don't know if I'll post my one month one palette for this month because I haven't been super excited about it, but we'll see if I use the palette much more this month and make a decision later. I don't really want to be using it at the moment, I want to try my new palettes out because I'm excited about them and they inspire me. 

I'm not having any fun with my roulette pan because with the way it's set up it's almost like I didn't actually pick the products that I'm focusing on in it. Most of the products in it are things I don't love and only got put in because they were all I had to fit the category. They're not products I want to pan, whereas the products in my year long project I want to finish. Another problem with this project is that because the products are so sort of jumbled and there's no real reason for any of them to be together I often forget to use them, or I use other things from different projects over these. The emphasis on this project is less about finishing products and more about getting use out of them, but I don't enjoy myself as much with that style of project, because you don't see as much progress and it's just not as fun. I feel like I'm more motivated to use something up when I have a larger goal, for example, using up half a nail polish isn't as exciting as finishing the bottle. I get more satisfaction from projects where I'm finishing products because it makes me feel more accomplished, so there's just nowhere near as much motivation for this project. 

There are still elements of panning that I'm enjoying, so I don't want to say that I'm quitting for good, and there are other posts and things that I'm going to continue to do so it's not as if I'm completely abandoning ship. Working on this blog has become a hobby for me, and I still want to dedicate time to it, I just want to switch up my content. Like I said, I'm still loving my project lip products, I'm really excited to do my June inventory and see how my numbers have changed (but I wouldn't like to put as much pressure on myself to minimise my collection as I used to), I'll probably stick with polish picks, and my wishlists will still be going up. I'd like to start posting possibly anti-hauls or discussing new release posts, and I hope by pulling back on panning I'll utilise my collection more and I'll be able to have better favourites posts, because at the moment I really struggle to fill them because I'm only using my project pan products. I would like to do products I've hit pan on posts, but I haven't because most things will just be from my project pans and I feel like that isn't exciting because I already have project pan posts where I show them. There's just so much more I would like to do with this blog than what is currently being created and I feel like project pan is what's stopping me from having the creative freedom I want. 

I guess we'll check back in at the start of June. I'll update this in my summary of my year long project update. 

Iz 🦀